"Outrun" Team Info

Hi teammates,

I wasn't sure how else to get a hold of all of you. Anyway, if you are officially signed up with our team, I will be picking up all race packets tomorrow down in Indy. I will plan to be in the main race congregating area of Ft. Ben by 6:15 to pass out packets, etc. I'm hoping to make a sign between now and then so we're easy to find. It will say "We Heart Q" on it if I can get that accomplished by Saturday.
My cell is 523-4579 if you need to ask a question or get a hold of me before the race!

See you Saturday night!!
Molly

Last Chance to Register for Outrun the Sun!

Hi friends and family,

Thank you so much for those of you who have registered to run/walk with us in a week and a half! In order to get the lower rate, you need to sign-up by Friday at midnight! We already have 9 others joining us next Saturday, June 6th, but we still need one more participant in order to be Team "We Heart Q". Thank you for your support of this event in honor of my mom. Individual registration will continue through June 5th.

We'll see you next Saturday! (see the post below to register)

With love and appreciation,
Molly

In Honor of Susie "Q" McCracken

Outrun the SUN!!!
In honor of our mom, Susie "Q" McCracken, some of my family members and I will be running in the Outrun the Sun run/walk for Melanoma.

The race will be:
Saturday, June 6th at 7:00 PM (less UV rays at night)
Ft. Benjamin Harrison Park, Indianapolis

We are trying to raise $1000 toward Melanoma Research. Would you consider running with us on our team, "We Heart Q", or simply making a financial donation toward our goal?

Please see our Team Website to make a donation/see our progress: http://raceagainstmelanoma.kintera.org/indianapolisin/weheartq

The Race Website will allow you register to run/walk with us: http://raceagainstmelanoma.kintera.org/faf/help/helpEventInfo.asp?ievent=310059&lis=0&kntae310059=0FAF7B2C31E84EA589F07773F96BFB8E

We greatly appreciate your love and support!
The McCrackens and Monroes

Podcasts from Q's Funeral

In light of the number of requests we've had for a recording of Susie's funeral, we have posted links to podcasts of some of the things said from up front that day. They are to the right, above Susie's picture. The links are tied to our church's website. Unfortunately, we cannot post any of the music or the girl's singing due to copyright laws. We also posted a link to the slideshow pictures of Susie.

Again, I cannnot adequately express to the hundreds of people (all of you) who have shown their love for Q and our family throughout the many months of Susie's illness, surgeries, and visitation and funeral, and yes, even now. Without the heartfelt caring of so many this most difficult of times would have been harder. I find myself wanting to sit across from each of you to tell you how much your generosity of love and caring has meant to me and my daughters, but that task is just too large. Honestly, much of life seems too large right now. I know over time things will get easier. Some parts will never be easy, but certainly easier.

One of the things I have shared with friends during Q's cancer is that I don't want to miss a thing that God wants me to learn during this difficult chapter of life. My prayer is similar for you. If there has been a thought, a sensing, a realization, a "I really should..." kind of moment for you as you've thought about your life while seeing Susie's and ours, then do not let that gift slip away into the busyness of your life. Do something with it - don't waste it. Act.

We would be grateful for your prayers as the girls and I adjust to life without Susie and look ahead to what God has for us as a family.


I love you,

Scott

Our Tribute to Mom

This was written by Molly, Haley, Marylou, and Ellie for their mom.
It was then read at Susie's funeral by the girls.

Mom,
Oh how you loved us.

We knew you loved us
As we see your sweet, tender smile as we look at our baby pictures.

As you taught us how to love each other, to forgive one another, and be kind to our sisters.

As you drove us to practices, recitals, friend’s houses, and school. You NEVER EVER missed a game or performance.

We knew you loved us during our younger years, in a house without air-conditioning, you were patient with our whining and fighting, you made us popsicles and found places for us to go and cool off.

As you taught us early on how to save our money and spend it wisely, only to see the countless times we chose to spend it on rocks, dollar store items, and candy because they were important to us, and you
didn’t say a word.

As we plowed through what we would later call our “ugly years” without realizing the fashion “no no’s” we were committing, but it didn’t matter to us what anyone thought because we knew we were beautiful to you.

We knew you loved us when as we reached the appropriate age you took each of us away for a special weekend with just you to be able to talk and ask questions about sex. No other mom we know has ever done that.

As you walked with us through our teen years, continually showing us how much you loved us even when we cared most about ourselves. You constantly pursued us, even when we pushed you away.

As we started dating, you guided us by encouraging us to communicate our feelings, to be honest about who we are, and to wait for a man who would love us as Dad loves you.

We knew you loved us as we made selfish and shameful choices. You taught us humility to ask for forgiveness and then to accept God’s grace, despite our many imperfections.

We knew you loved us as we pursued our dreams and goals, sometimes changing our minds every six weeks. You were always the first to share in our excitement and take action on our behalf.

We knew you loved us as you agreed to step back into the working world, after being our stay-at-home mom for 18 years. You showed your strength and love by putting the family’s needs above your personal desires.

So Mom, thank you for…

Always fighting for us when we were too weak or scared to fight for ourselves,

Thank you for making church a priority every Sunday,

Thank you for encouraging Godly friendships,

Thank you for teaching us, by example, what unconditional love and forgiveness look like,

Thank you for making our house a home, a warm and inviting place to be for all who entered,

Thank you for teaching us to be young ladies, even though it took one of us (Haley) a little longer to catch on then the rest of us,

Thank you for choosing to trust us, but also teaching us how to earn your trust after we had lost it,

Thank you for disciplining us,

Thank you for praying that we would get caught when we made bad choices… we know God heard every one of those prayers. But in the occasional event that we didn’t get caught, we eventually confessed to you and Dad because we knew that no matter what we’d done, we couldn’t lose your love,

Thank you for praying for our husbands since the day we were born,

Thank you for the many memories and traditions that we will continue to carry on in Minnesota,

Thank you for allowing us to see you and dad argue and then resolve your arguments,

Thank you for running our MANY errands,

Thank you for changing our diapers, doing our laundry, packing our school lunches, washing the constant flow of dirty dishes, bandaging our wounds and kissing our “ouchies”, staying home with us when we were sick and holding our hair back,

Thank you for honoring your commitment to your marriage for the past 28 years,

Thank you for teaching us what it means to serve in our community and church,

Thank you for choosing such an honorable and loving husband and father for us. We know the faith and
unconditional love for God that you and Dad have shared and that we now hold as our own, will continue to carry us through this hard time.
We are surrounding each other and especially Dad, loving him on your behalf.

You are an irreplaceable part of our family and we feel your absence but we will find joy as we recount the many memories we have of you in the days and years to come. Your grand-children will know who you are because your husband, daughters, and those who love you, will make sure they know who Q was and how much we miss her. And we will think of you as we raise them in the same wise and loving way you’ve raised us. You were the best mom a child could ever want.

We know this parting is only temporary and we wait longingly and with great hope to see you again soon.

We love you, Mom.

Love,
Molly, Haley, Mary Lou, and Ellie

Seeking Memories

I would like to compile a collection of memories for my children and their children. If you have any stories about Susie (meaningful ones; funny ones; memorable ones; ways her life may have touched yours) would you please email them to me at smccracken@earthlink.net
or send them by U.S. Mail to:
Scott McCracken
3731 Tara Court
Westfield, IN 46074
You can also hand deliver them at the vistitation or memorial services.

Thank you all so much for your love, prayers, and wonderful words to our family.

I love you,
Scott

Visitation and Funeral Information

It is with great sadnesss and joy that we are posting the visitation and funeral information for our mom, Susie. It has been a very tough 24 hours for us...moments of intense grief and then little bursts of joy as we remember our loving mama and how she touched us so, and where she is now -- rejoicing and cancer-free. And it continues to feel so surreal to all of us.

Visitation:
Thursday, April 30: 4:00-8:00 pm
Flanner & Buchanan Funeral Home
325 E. Carmel Dr. Carmel, IN 46032

Funeral:
Friday, May 1: 1:00 pm
Church at the Crossing
9111 Haverstick Rd. Indianapolis, IN

This morning, early as the day began, the Lord brought us to this verse:
"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young."
Isaiah 40:11

We know we are being carried close to his heart today.

With love,
Molly, Haley, Mary Lou and Ellie

It is with joy and sorrow...

Early this afternoon, precious Susie went to see Jesus face to face. She had a peaceful transition from this earth to The New, surrounded by Scott, some family and friends. Her last hours were spent enveloped by prayer, hymns, and Scripture.

Arrangement information will be forthcoming. Prayers are coveted.

(Monika)

Spring

Hi friends and family,

Thank you for your faithfulness to us. Your comments on this blog, your cards, your prayers and your hugs mean more to us than we can express. Thank you.

My mom is still home. As of last night, the hospice nurse put an IV in her which gives her a constant drip of morphine for her intense pain. She is definitely in less pain now, which is the goal and is a good thing! However, the morphine makes her very confused and drowsy. It is so hard to see our mom/wife/daughter/friend like this, and yet, this is who she is RIGHT NOW. I've been recently struck by the fact that not everyone will marry or have children in this life, but everyone will die...and yet our American culture hates being faced with the reality of this. We've moved away from death as much as possible, which is understandable because it is not fun. But I am trying to currently embrace that this is our reality and will be everyone's reality at some point, and this IS my mom RIGHT NOW. I want to love on her as she is RIGHT NOW. But even that is difficult when she is so medicated. It still feels very surreal most of the time.

And it's funny that while we are very sad today as we spend time with her parents and brother and sister-in-law who are here this weekend, today is the first day Indiana has seen 80 degrees. It is beautiful! On my drive home from my parents' house this morning, I was enveloped in a sudden and very physical realization of the greatness of God's love for ME even during a time like this. The beauty of his creation is in full bloom and brightness today, and I can't help but rejoice in His goodness. Spring is such a physical reminder that after the death of winter comes spring and all it's beauty, refreshing, and NEW LIFE.

Our family has been reading the book HEAVEN by Randy Alcorn as we all are searching for more answers about where our mother will soon be. My view of heaven before the past month was we are surrounded by clouds and golden streets and our spirits are floating around "up there" somewhere. It was never something I looked forward to. I'd never done my homework on heaven before. But let me assure you, that much to the trueness of His character, God has a heaven in store that is very much different than what I thought as I study what the Bible has to say about heaven. And our whole family, including my mom, has found a new excitement about this eternal HOME we will someday experience because of God's love and grace for us. I would highly recommend this book. It will change your perspective of NOW, too. (There's also a much shorter devotional format, if you're not a reader.)

Please continue to pray for us and this time we have ahead. It is a very, very difficult season for all of us, and yet, we do experience God's great "peace that passes all understanding" -- wow, do I have a new perspective of that!

And please continue to send your cards to my mom and dad, or even just my dad. Your words via the mail bring an encouragement to them and a physical reminder that people are thinking of and praying for them. Ellie lives there, too.

Their address is:
3731 Tara Court
Westfield, IN 46074

My sisters up at Anderson UNiversity, Haley and Mary Lou, are trying to finish the school year and make it home to see mom, too, as often as they can. They could also use your encouragement.

Their address is:
1100 E. 5th Street
Anderson, IN 46012

Thank you, dear friends.
Love, Molly

Golden Time

I'm sorry for how long it's taken to get this update on the blog. Honestly, since the last one there has not been much new to say. After we heard that last report with the scan results, both of our primary oncologists left town for Spring Break with their families. They deserve a break. They work hard and see alot of really sick people. But, whether I am a husband in denial or a husband who just wants to make sure we're making the right decisions, I wanted to talk to both docs as soon as they got back.

Susie and I met with her radiation oncologist this week and he did a good job of explaining things to us. We also spoke with her primary oncologist. Susie's liver is really enlarged and cancerous. She also has some fluid in her right lung. Her brain scan came back clear. Both docs are willing to help us get any further treatment or consults that we want, but with the information we have and the horrible experience Susie had with her IL2 chemo, we don't think we want to go any further with medical treatment of the cancer. The results just would not be that dramatic and it would likely negatively affect the quality of life we want to have together as a family. For now, we are controlling Q's pain without heavy narcotics and we are taking advantage of that as long as we can. This has been a week of difficult discussions, but I thank God that we are able to have them with her mind as clear as it's been.

Susie's doctor referred to our time together right now as our "Golden Time." We don't know how long that time is, but apart from the Lord doing a miracle, it won't feel long enough. So now we just continue to love each other well and rest in the Lord's love for us.

I pray you will really take in the reality of Jesus' Resurrection this Easter!

Love, Scott (and family)

A Tough Turn

It has been great to have Q home these past two weeks. She has been the most alert and engaged that I have seen her in a long time. She has really enjoyed having her sister, Kathy, stay with us for a visit as well as a couple of crazy, wonderful, "cajun" friends (John and JJ) who made Q "squeanky-eyed" laugh as we reminisced about our days working at the C Lazy U ranch where we met.As the cajuns and I walked into Starbucks last Saturday morning I ran into Susie's oncologist and told him that she had expressed that she didn't think she wanted to endure another round of the IL2 chemo. He suggested we take another scan and then decide from there.

On Thursday we got a CT scan and awaited the call from Susie's radiologist-oncologist for findings. Later that evening the doctor called me with the bad news: The cancer had spread badly in Susie's liver. We didn't have to decide about the chemo, the doctors said they did not recommend it now, as it would be too hard on Q and probably not effective. Aside from a miracle, our treatment options are done. I told Susie the news, and then the girls. Everyone came home. We talked openly and cried...hard. It's surreal. Isn't this supposed to be happening to someone else? Or 30 years from now? Damn it!

What now? We do what we've always done. We look to God and we learn as we go.

You know what to do.

Love,
Scott

Q is Home!

Finally, after an extra day's delay I got my girl home last night. She is SO glad. Hopefully she will be able to get out on our deck this afternoon to enjoy a little of the beautiful Spring-like day we are having. She is still very weak and is having some side effects from her time in the hospital, but we can work around that. If all goes well, she should be home for two weeks before the next treatment.
Thank you again for your prayers...seriously!

-Scott

Q Going Home!

So my dad just called me and said that Mom can be picked up from the hospital now!! We all are so thrilled, especially my mom, because she just wants to go be at her HOME. We expect that she will be home for at least two weeks before they would decide to do another round of treatment, though I can tell you that none of us are looking forward to that again. My dad was right, and even "nice," in describing this last week for us. It was...the opposite of heaven. Really. It was so hard on all of us to see my mom so very sick. We all are tired from this rollercoaster of emotion, but we will certainly take two weeks of "up." Please pray with us that this break will give my mom strength, relaxation, great time with family (and maybe even some friends?), and a renewed sense of God's deep love and care for her now that she is off most medications and has a clearer mind.

This journey has been so hard. So hard. But God has been tenderly teaching me about just how deep his love is for us. Oh, how he loves us! I praise him that I am even able to FEEL that during this deep valley in our lives. Just this weekend, I was reminded of the promise that "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." (John 10:28) Wow.

He holds and protects ALL of us in the center of his hand.

Molly

Hopefully Home Soon

After an incredibly difficult week, we are still trying to get Susie out of here (the hospital) so she can enjoy sunshine, fresh air, and being in her own home. She is still very weak after the chemo treatments (way worse than anything she's had up to now). Her lab work came back pretty close to normal this morning, so now we are waiting for her doctor to visit and tell us whether or not she can go home soon.
Please pray for that. Thank you so much.

- Scott

The Next Round

It was great to have Susie home for several days and she was really glad to be there. We had a scare at 2:00 a.m. one night when she was having some pain and a low grade fever, but we called the doc and got things under control enough for her to stay home.

We checked back into the hospital last night and have started the next round of chemo. The stuff they're using this time will be roughner than what she has had in the past. Q should be in until Friday if all goes well. She is not feeling any serious pain and has cut way back on the morphine - thank You, Lord.

My prayer is that she will get through the next four days with minimum discomfort and narcotics, and will be in good shape and clarity of mind when she goes home. Also, please continue to ask our Lord to bring healing to Susie or at least to put this cancer into an extended remission. That would be so great!

Thank you all,

Scott

Wow!

Several co-workers from Q's office building showed up at our door shortly after I'd brought her home from the hospital. They were bearing gifts: balloons, assorted baked goods and $2,066 in cash (proceeds from the bake sale they'd just had). Thank you again, ladies, for all of your work and thoughtfulness in putting that together for Susie. We just received a bill of over $1,000 for some out-of-pocket expenses for Q's treatments, so I already know where half of that cash is going for sure.

Q is still kind of "woozy" (that's a medical term. It's kind of like "thing-a-ma-jiggy" is a plumbing term) from all the morphine she has been on. I got permission yesterday from the doctor to turn down the dosage on her pump, so hopefully she will begin to perk up a bit over the weekend before going back on Monday for four days of chemo.

Thanks to all who gave to the bake sale. . . you're very kind.

- Scott

Q Comes Home!

Hey everyone!

My mom gets to come home tomorrow for a rest period before her next big treatment. She will be going back in for chemo on Monday, but we are SO very excited that she will get to spend a long weekend at HOME. I personally, cannot wait to just sit with her on the couch and be semi-normal for a few days. I wasn't able to see her tonight, but Josh told me that she looks better than ever (as far as her spirits and mental clarity go). It is such a nice little "up"time.

Praise the Lord for that!

Molly

Bake Sale for Susie Q!

Hi friends and family,

My mom's dear friends at the surgery center where she works are hosting a bake sale to raise money for her and to promote Melanoma Awareness. Please feel free to stop by! Here are the details...

You're invited to: A Bake Sale!
When: 8am to 3pm on Wed. March 4,2009
Why: All proceeds being donated to the McCracken family. There will also be info on hand about melanoma.
Where: Carmel Ambulatory Surgery Center
13421 Old Meridian
Carmel, IN. 46032
We have lots of baked goods coming, we just need people to buy them!

I don't have time to give an update right now, but my mom's spirits are really good. We are awaiting the second half of treatment for the week, which will still require hospitalization, and should start in the next couple days. We are hoping that she will be able to come home for a little while after recovery from the treatment.

Please continue to pray for us. It has been such a roller coaster of emotion the last couple weeks. Though I was encouraged when I read a posting on our friends, The Fogleman's, blog that when we're wondering WHY this is happening, that's when we really do have to walk by faith as God tells us to do. If he told us why this was happening, we would be walking by sight and not by faith. So we continue to trust in the Lords unfailing love for us and pray that He will draw us so much closer to Himself as we continue to walk this road...by faith.

We love and the thank God for you all so much. Hope to see you at the bake sale next Wednesday!

Molly

Pressing On

Well, here's the latest. Q's liver seems to be fairly stable again with the bleeding stopped. A few days ago, however, it was discovered that she had fluid in her lungs and they drained them off and found no cancer cells in the fluid...that's good news. Most of the pain in her upper body places is gone now. The newest problem is that Q has a couple of blood clots in her legs (due to eliminating the blood thinning drugs so her liver would stop bleeding). Her swollen legs are pretty sore and they have put her back on blood thinning meds at a reduced dose to try to get rid of the clots.

Susie is really doing a remarkable job of dealing with all of this stuff, but admittedly, the delays and new problems that have been happening is pretty tough on her because she wants to get started with the chemotherapy that was supposed to start a week and a half ago.
On the up side the doctor said she will probably begin chemo tomorrow (Thursday). He is going to start with what would have been her outpatient treatments, but will keep her in the hospital to keep an eye on her.
So...here we go.

Please pray for things to go well with all of this.
- For Susie - healing (even miraculous healing); peace; sensing the love of God and His very real presence with her
- For the girls & Josh- comfort; the encouragement of the Lord; peace in their hearts
- For me - wisdom (Lord, show me what to do in all this); strength (Lord, help me do it)

We are constantly blown away by all of the continuing love, words of caring, acts of kindness and prayers of all of you. We are so blessed by it all.

Thank you from our hearts,
-Scott

Status Report

As of this post Susie is still in the St. Vincent oncology ward resting and trying to get healed up from the bleeding in her liver. Morphine has been her friend for the pain, but it leaves her with a mind and memory that is less than the finely-tuned machine that it normally has been. We are still primarily dealing with trying to manage pain in her abdomen area and allowing the liver to heal since she has gone off the anti-coagulant meds she had been taking prior to this episode. The filter in her vein seems to be doing its job of keeping out any dangerous blood clots to her lungs.

Apparently, some mis-information was propagated that led people to believe that Susie's condition was more dire than it really was this week. I don't want to minimize the seriousness of Q's condition, she IS in the cancer ward of a hospital being treated for internal bleeding, but no, the McCracken family has NOT been saying their "good-byes" to Susie. A word from a parent to parents: Beware of the "telephone game" scenario that can happen in our children's world of texting and Facebook.

The chemotherapy regimen that was scheduled for this week will remain on hold until Susie is in a better place physically. I don't have a guess on when that will be.

An aside:
I have stumbled upon a song/version of a classic hymn through which God has really touched me. Amy Grant's album: Legacy...Hymns and Faith has a cut entitled Fields of Plenty which includes her version of Be Still My Soul which I highly recommend for his children who are walking in deep places. I don't know if you can wear out an mp3 file, but I'll probably find out on this one.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7

Love,
Scott

Another Hospital Visit

So late last night, my mom started experiencing sharp shoulder pain.  A few hours later it had traveled to her side.  My dad took her to the ER around 5:30 this morning where they waiting until after noon to hear the results of a CT scan.  We found out that the cancer on her liver has started bleeding due to her blood-thinning medicine mostly.  The good news is that instead of waiting until tomorrow, they were able to put a  "metal basket-like thing" in an artery in her groin area to trap future blood clots so that she can be off of the blood thinner.  She is sleeping in the hospital tonight and we hope will be released tomorrow.  Please be in prayer that this new "basket" will work and that she will still be able to take her chemo treatment which will start Monday.  This is the first FULL week of treatment (Monday through Wednesday she'll have out patient chemo then Thursday through Sunday she'll be in the hospital having more treatments).  Please continue your prayers that the treatments will be successful and a continued renewal of energy for Mom.  Maybe we could have a complication-free week??  Probably not. :)

We love you all!

Molly and fam

Out of the Hospital!

Mom got out of the hospital a couple days ago (she just reminded me that we didn't post that on the blog). She is home and resting once again, though I think she might secretly miss the hospital becasue she gets lots of uninterrupted sleep and is waited on hand and foot! We are waiting now until Monday, Feb. 8th when she will start the next round of treatments: Monday through Wednesday she will have outpatient chemo; then Thursday through Sunday she will be in the hospital having a concoction of drugs. She'll be out for two weeks and then she'll do that whole week over again. This schedule will continue through April we are told.

As long as the brain stays clear of cancer and the drugs do what they are supposed to (kill the cancer in her liver), we are hoping that by the end of April she will be cancer free and on her way to a healthy recooperation! I really can't remember what it was like for her to be totally cancer free which was way back in June. Please pray with us that this will be the case come April...I would love nothing more than to go on a spring walk with my mom followed by a drink on the sidewalk at Starbucks. It has been WAY too long since we've been able to do that together!

We continue to thank God for you and your love. A special thanks to my aunts Carol and Suzy who have provided a Sunday meal to us and grandpa the past few weeks. We are blessed to have such loving family and friends. And Norma, I ate way too many of your choc. chip cookies tonight!

ALL of you are wonderful cooks!

love, Molly

Lungs

Quick update -- my mom was taken to the emergency room tonight because she was having difficulty breathing and was coughing a lot (but isn't sick). After a CT scan, they discovered that she has another blood clot in her lungs (YAY, it wasn't more cancer!!). She was put back on a blood thinner, but the first clot is starting to go away (also a YAY). They have decided to keep her tonight and possibly another night just to keep an eye on things.

We are so thankful that the ER trip has not brought any terrible news....big sigh....

Thanks for your continued prayers and love!
Molly

Wisdom and The Next Treatment

Hi friends,

I want to first of all thank you for your continued support and concern for our family. It is humbling to know how many people are praying for us as a family and individually each day, how many people are bringing meals (which fed ALL of us over the holiday season as we enjoyed time together), and how many people continually check this blog for the latest updates and prayer requests. Thank you for being theBody of Christ so well.

I have a feeling God is going to be teaching me a lot in 2009. He teaches me a lot every year, but I just feel like this year may be deeper than the rest. It already has been actually in just the past 13 days. A common theme has come up in many circles of my life at once, and when that happens, you know God is trying to get your attention. The theme has been wisdom. It almost seems cliché because the word seems to be everywhere. But in our current family circumstance, God has shown me that I need not pray for direction – direction is just an answer to a specific question I may have for God (i.e. Where should I go to college? How much should I give to the church? Should I be part of this or that?) Asking for direction, I have realized, is rather limited. And I have been asking for direction lately – Show me what to do for Mom today…How can I not feel the despair that sometimes suddenly comes over me…What am I going to do if this situation doesn’t end the way I want it to?

But what God has been so tenderly leading me to discover recently is that instead of asking for direction in this, He wants me to ask Him for HIS Wisdom. James 1:5 tells me that “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” So basically God seems very eager to give us His wisdom whenever we ask for it, and he will give us lots of it. So why is wisdom better than direction? In asking for God’s wisdom, the Holy Spirit can literally give us a piece of God’s mind, His perspective. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians that “we (can) have the mind of Christ.” Asking for wisdom instead of direction will be a process within us and a deeper, eternal change of our character making us more like Him, rather than just a simple answer to our single question.

Proverbs Ch. 1-4 are full of truths about wisdom. Wisdom, or having the mind of Christ, is far more valuable than any earthly thing. What an odd perspective in our culture. But it is true in my heart. If this is what it takes to make me more like Christ, than I can truly count everything else as loss. I pray that through this trial, God will draw you and I unimaginably closer to Himself and generously give wisdom that we would have not otherwise found. Praise be to God!

Now an update on my mom: after a meeting with the oncologist this week, we have some wonderful news – no new growth in her brain!! Thank you, Lord!! This is the first positive news we’ve heard, and it has been reviving to our souls. For precautionary measures, she will be having brain radiation through the end of the week.

Unfortunately, they did discover that the spots on her liver have basically doubled. That is not the news we wanted to hear. They have decided to start a chemo-like treatment next week for three days (out patient). A few weeks later when her steroids have gotten out of her system, she will have the three day treatment again followed by a four day intense treatment in the hospital. They will continue to do the three day/four day treatments every three weeks or so for the next few months (we think she’ll be done in May). Surgery was not as good an option due to how aggressively the cancer has been spreading in her liver, so please join us in vigorously praying that this intravenous treatment will be strong enough to kill the cancer in her liver.

We feel your prayers…and the gentle, loving arms of our Father.

Molly

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten…you will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God who has worked wonders for you.”
Joel 2:25,26

Quick update

Part of me doesn't want to post what's planned next because it seems to change as soon as I do. It looks like now we will hold off on liver surgery and be doing chemotherapy instead. No date set for beginning it yet. Susie still has a clot in her lung which will probably take months to get rid of. How 'bout we just pray that thing away too. Q will be starting radiation tomorrow that will target the place in her brain where the tumor was removed. She will have two of those treatments this week and three more next week.

There's more I could say, but I gotta go to bed.

We know you are praying...thank you so much!

Love, Scott

Still waiting...

Q had her head and torso scans earlier this week and today we met with her liver doctor to find out what direction we'll be going with treatment. The images showed the two cancer lesions that we knew were there, but also another spot that may or may not be cancerous. Dr. Rouch said surgery was still the preferred option of treatment. He would probably remove half or more of the liver in the process. Surgery would probably be between one and a half and two weeks weeks from now.

We are still waiting to hear what the brain scans revealed, but it is pretty certain that Susie will be recieving radiation treatments regardless of what they show. Hopefully, we will know more on Monday or Tuesday.

Will keep you posted.

- Scott