It has been great to have Q home these past two weeks. She has been the most alert and engaged that I have seen her in a long time. She has really enjoyed having her sister, Kathy, stay with us for a visit as well as a couple of crazy, wonderful, "cajun" friends (John and JJ) who made Q "squeanky-eyed" laugh as we reminisced about our days working at the C Lazy U ranch where we met.As the cajuns and I walked into Starbucks last Saturday morning I ran into Susie's oncologist and told him that she had expressed that she didn't think she wanted to endure another round of the IL2 chemo. He suggested we take another scan and then decide from there.
On Thursday we got a CT scan and awaited the call from Susie's radiologist-oncologist for findings. Later that evening the doctor called me with the bad news: The cancer had spread badly in Susie's liver. We didn't have to decide about the chemo, the doctors said they did not recommend it now, as it would be too hard on Q and probably not effective. Aside from a miracle, our treatment options are done. I told Susie the news, and then the girls. Everyone came home. We talked openly and cried...hard. It's surreal. Isn't this supposed to be happening to someone else? Or 30 years from now? Damn it!
What now? We do what we've always done. We look to God and we learn as we go.
You know what to do.
Love,
Scott
Susan Johnson McCracken July 27, 1959 - April 27, 2009
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Susie & Haley
Josh, Molly, Ellie, Mary Lou, Q, and Scott
Scott & Q
Susie "Q" and her girls
32 comments:
Scott, Suzie and girls,
We worship a God of great miracles and have for some time been praying daily for you. Now, we need to step it up a notch.
"There is always a ram in the bush," Scott!
With much love,
John and Val Angove
We are all praying here! And we all care for you guys.
T-Rock
crying and praying alongside you guys. we love you and lift you up into the comfort only He can rain down!
Scott, Susie, and Family -
I am so sorry for this hard news you've received. My heart is breaking for you all right at this moment.
We will continue to pray for God to bring a glorious miracle to your lives and that you will have His peace while you're waiting.
Much love to you all -
Jen Denniston
We know you can feel the strong prayers of this entire congregation. You are part of our family and we love you all! It doesn't make any sense what's happening but we know our God will never leave us.
May He Bless You and Keep You Always,
Love, Terri & Kenny Atkinson
Hey Scott,
I know we haven't been in contact for a bit, but we have been praying over this unfathomable struggle for you guys. Just know God ALWAYS loves you and no matter what, will work ALL things together for your good. We love you too. Give Q a big hug for us. Scott, even in this great pain, know that Christ is coming soon and will take away every ounce of sorrow and struggle. Trust in His love for you...
Love,
Brandon and Michelle
Even though we know that there is unimaginable love and joy set before us in glordy, God has made us to cling to the life He has given us here on earth. It is so hard to say goodbye to the love and relationships we know here on earth. We know that God can do miraculous healing and that is my desire for Susie. When I think of her I think of that "Skwinty eyed" laugh of Susie's. She always seems ready for fun and for laughing and taking the next step in the life the Lord has given her. Even now as you go through this hard, dark time you will find that God's grace is sufficient. Usually we wish we didn't need that grace so desperately, but we do. Love to you all, Joan Jackson
We are thanking the Holy Spirit for being inside you and ministering to your every need. May He continue to fill you with strength for each second, deepen your faith and trust in our soverign God, and peace that can only come from the Prince Himself.
Love,
Kelly and Joel Thorp
I have been following your blog ever since I found out about your journey...please know that Danny and I are praying along with you and though we can't see "God's hand right now, we trust His heart".
We love you!
Jodie Daniels
Scott, Danny and I are very sorry to hear the news about Susie. It is just hard to imagine. While we cannot fathom how these things can be endured, we serve a God that gives grace as we need it. We will continue to lift you all in prayer.
Karen Baker
We pray for you each day, and we send our love each day. You are our inspiration, and my faith in God is stronger because of all of you. I write this with tears in my eyes but faith in my heart. We pray for a miracle, and we pray that you continue to know that He is with you. With all our love and with our continuing prayers.
The Modesto's
I love you guys. I am with you in prayer.
Katie
My Sweet SusieExcusme,
I think of you every Wednesday and Sunday when I walk into the choir room. I think of you when I walk to my closet and see my CABI clothes. I think of you and Molly when I hear about an upcoming wedding. I think of you when I work on the Good Friday and Easter music, and at Dessert Theatre, and in my prayer time and Bible study and when I think about summer and being in the sun and pretty much all day long. I miss seeing you and I totally understand your need for us to stay away. Just know that I never stay away emotionally. I love you so. You have made me a better me and I take you with me wherever I go.
Anita
Praying for all of you... with much love.
Connie
just read this post for the 1st time... & am in tears, crying out to the Lord with/for you.
I LOVE YOU, SUSIE AND LOOK UP TO YOU IN A MILLION WAYS. PLEASE Jesus, pour out your love, comfort, peace on this amazing family & display your power by providing a miracle!!!
On our knees, waiting in faith, we are here for you.
Love NEVER ends in Him.
Love to you, our dear,dear friends.
Tom and Sally
Jesus wept. He gathers every tear we cry and keeps them in a bottle. He knows our pain and our sufferings. Jesus Wept. Precious to the Lord is the death of His saints. He is near.
Speaking as a member of First Congregational Church in Sioux Falls, I want you to know we are all praying for you and for Kathy. It is during times like this that we need to feel the love and support of family and friends. May it give you some comfort knowing our church family is there with you in thought and prayer.
Scott, Let Susie know that I am praying for her, you, and the girls. I am still believing for a miracle. My heart so breaks for you all. I miss Susie's smile in the choir or worship team. My earliest memory of her was in hearing her sing with one of her very little girls on a Sunday morning many years ago. That was when I sensed she was a special mom with a huge heart for Jesus....and her family. With much love, Lois Bushong
I am praying. God is on our side. It wasn't supposed to be this way for Susie or your family.
Scott, Suzie and Girls,
We are praying that God showers you with HIS peace and comfort, and of course, a miracle.
With love,
Craig Gigax
I love you guys. I love you all so much. I'm speechless. I am praying for every single one of you.
Tyler
My heart breaks at your recent news, but I will not stop praying daily for Susie and a miraculous healing. Bless you all in such difficult times.
Betsy Paul
With your family in prayer. Though a stranger, we share a bond, and your words are so poignantly reminiscent. My prayer is that God's goodness is mysteriously and powerfully apparent these days-- the hardest of days-- as I know He is able. Still... I am familiar with the "damn it!" moments. Job knew a thing or two about those as well... and indeed God blessed him through it all. Such is my prayer for you, Q, and your girls.
Crying out with you, and praying for a miracle with you,
Tyson
Scott, Suzie, & girls-
I sit here praying for you all as tears stream down my face. I am praying for His hand to heal, offer peace, & provide a miracle.
Suzie, I remember you taking me under your wing when I first started attending CATC & inviting me to a Mary Kay party at your house. You welcomed me into the choir family at CATC & I am forever grateful. You helped make CATC my church home & provided me with a wonderful example of a Christian woman. If I can be 1/2 of a woman as you, God will smile.
God is powerful! God loves all of you & will get you through this time. He provides all of our needs & He will be there for you. Please know my family prays for you all everyday & love you!
May He keep you always,
Erin Marchese
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; GREAT is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3:22.
My heard aches for you and your family. These verses came to my mind and so I thought I would share them with you. He carries us when our strenght is gone, and His love NEVER fails. All praise and glory be to God for each and every one of your lives! He holds you in His hands.
Dearest Scott, Susie and Girls.
You all are in our thoughts and prayers on a daily basis. We love you and know how much God loves you as well. While this time is so very hard, God will be your strength. We will pray for a miracle.
Love you,
Dennis & Judy Roeder
McCracken family... with tears in my eyes, my heart aches, and I continue to lift you all up in prayer. This morning on my way to class I was listing to Natalie Grant's song Our Hope Endures. Listening to this I thought of all of you and prayed that even through a storm, even though it is raining night after night, that your hope and faith endures in our Lord Jesus Christ. This seems to impossible at times, but we have a God who cares and I am so thankful for that. You are not walking this alone. He is along side you every step. What a blessing in a time of storms and heart ache. I love all of you!! So deeply.
Hi Scott and Susie,
Would love to talk you. I wonder what was in the water at C Lazy U. What a way to reconnect from our days at the ranch. I read about you after going to Katie Umbaugh's blog. It seems she knows what is ahead by her tears. The day I met you I thought the two of you made the cutest couple. By the looks of the pictures nothing has changed.
Sorry to hear of your news. We will pray as we are walking a similar journey. Breast cancer has returned after 6 years. I have a tumor on my spine and it has metastasized in throughout my liver also. I am thankful God gives peace.
Love,
Laurie Atkins Strand
Scott and Susie,
I love you both dearly. You have been my rock and my comfort in ways you probably don't even know. I miss you soooo much and would love to come sit with you or read to you or clean your toilets if it meant seeing you and helping. I understand that you're getting as much family time as you possibly can and that's a good thing. Just know you're ALWAYS in my thots and I'm thankful for you.
Scott, Suzie and family,
I just want you to know you are all in my prayers and that you have been such a blessing to me. Love you guys!
In Him praying for a miracle I know He can bring.
Elizabeth Aulds
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