Hi friends and family,
Thank you for your faithfulness to us. Your comments on this blog, your cards, your prayers and your hugs mean more to us than we can express. Thank you.
My mom is still home. As of last night, the hospice nurse put an IV in her which gives her a constant drip of morphine for her intense pain. She is definitely in less pain now, which is the goal and is a good thing! However, the morphine makes her very confused and drowsy. It is so hard to see our mom/wife/daughter/friend like this, and yet, this is who she is RIGHT NOW. I've been recently struck by the fact that not everyone will marry or have children in this life, but everyone will die...and yet our American culture hates being faced with the reality of this. We've moved away from death as much as possible, which is understandable because it is not fun. But I am trying to currently embrace that this is our reality and will be everyone's reality at some point, and this IS my mom RIGHT NOW. I want to love on her as she is RIGHT NOW. But even that is difficult when she is so medicated. It still feels very surreal most of the time.
And it's funny that while we are very sad today as we spend time with her parents and brother and sister-in-law who are here this weekend, today is the first day Indiana has seen 80 degrees. It is beautiful! On my drive home from my parents' house this morning, I was enveloped in a sudden and very physical realization of the greatness of God's love for ME even during a time like this. The beauty of his creation is in full bloom and brightness today, and I can't help but rejoice in His goodness. Spring is such a physical reminder that after the death of winter comes spring and all it's beauty, refreshing, and NEW LIFE.
Our family has been reading the book HEAVEN by Randy Alcorn as we all are searching for more answers about where our mother will soon be. My view of heaven before the past month was we are surrounded by clouds and golden streets and our spirits are floating around "up there" somewhere. It was never something I looked forward to. I'd never done my homework on heaven before. But let me assure you, that much to the trueness of His character, God has a heaven in store that is very much different than what I thought as I study what the Bible has to say about heaven. And our whole family, including my mom, has found a new excitement about this eternal HOME we will someday experience because of God's love and grace for us. I would highly recommend this book. It will change your perspective of NOW, too. (There's also a much shorter devotional format, if you're not a reader.)
Please continue to pray for us and this time we have ahead. It is a very, very difficult season for all of us, and yet, we do experience God's great "peace that passes all understanding" -- wow, do I have a new perspective of that!
And please continue to send your cards to my mom and dad, or even just my dad. Your words via the mail bring an encouragement to them and a physical reminder that people are thinking of and praying for them. Ellie lives there, too.
Their address is:
3731 Tara Court
Westfield, IN 46074
My sisters up at Anderson UNiversity, Haley and Mary Lou, are trying to finish the school year and make it home to see mom, too, as often as they can. They could also use your encouragement.
Their address is:
1100 E. 5th Street
Anderson, IN 46012
Thank you, dear friends.
Love, Molly
Susan Johnson McCracken July 27, 1959 - April 27, 2009
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Susie & Haley
Josh, Molly, Ellie, Mary Lou, Q, and Scott
Scott & Q
Susie "Q" and her girls
5 comments:
Thank you Molly, that was very beautifully stated.
It's true that our culture removes itself as far as possible from death, but God has lots to say about that which counters our attitude toward it. And how wonderful that you can have an eternal perspective and also rejoice in Spring's earthly wonder.
We continue to pray for a peace that passes all understanding. We love you ALL.
Love, Nancy and Jeff Lockhart
Thank you, Molly, for your witness and your faith. I take great comfort in words, as you know, and many of my favorite people have been re-speaking to me during this time of grief. I'm going to include a couple here from Wendell Berry - a little long, but just wanted you to have it. Love you!
"There is a day
when the road neither
comes nor goes, and the way
is not a way but a place."
"Now, as a man learning
the limits of time, I look anew
at a familiar carving: a ring
of granite drawing to a circle
all space around it, and enclosing
a circle.In cross section, the
stone itself is square. It
doubles the superficial strip
of Mobius
and thus makes of two surfaces
a solid, dimensioned
as the body, a pure thought
shaped in stone. One surface
is rough, the other smooth,
to invite hand or eye into
its windings, to remind the mind
in its travels, the long and far
of its restless reckoning,
that where it comes from
and where it is going
are nowhere in the distance,
not in the future or the past,
but are forever here
now. The stone turns
without limit within itself,
dark within light, light
within dark. What is above
descends, what is below rises.
So the carver wrought it out
until it came to rest.
So what is inward turns outward
as does, we are told,
the Kingdom of God.
So we contain that which
contains us.
So the departed come to light.
Molly,
Thank you for the beautiful witness of your faith, your love of the Lord and sharing this journey with us. Please know that as you are gathered as a family loving your mom you are also surrounded by a community who loves you and who is praying for your family during this precious time.
We love you McCracken's and are so saddened by this news...we will keep you lifted up in prayer! Hugs...Keith and Holly Ray
Molly, you probably don't remember me as you girls were all quite young when we left CATC to go to Canada. But you have amazed me with your depth and maturity as you have helped to keep us all updated on your mother. I continue to lift you all up in prayer, knowing that we serve a great God whose ways are not our ways, but are always best. Much love to you all! Jodie Daniels
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